Judging Cheddar and... Myself?

The first official Substack letter!

Somehow in the middle of the madness of putting my first book out into the world (which you can pre-order here), I was a judge at the Los Angeles International Dairy Competition.

Our judging panel tasted many things that day, but we had a TON of cheddar.

Judging is a fascinating thing. I really love doing it, which may seem counter-intuitive since my whole schtick is preaching “there is no good or bad taste, only preference”.

I love all categories of cheese so if it is a well-made cheese, it will be tasty to me, but personal preference will always be a part of judging and competitions. That’s why results are based on groups of people with different palates judging the same thing, rather than a biased declaration from one person.

But judging is not about deeming a cheese “good” or “bad”, it’s really assessing whether or not a particular cheese is a good example of it’s category or not.

For example, I love aged clothbound cheddars. But when grading a block cheddar aged less than 6 months, I can’t be upset it’s not more aged. I am asking, “is this a good example of a young cheddar?” You can’t evaluate something well if you just wish it were something else. You have to meet it where it’s at.

Something I need to remember for myself.

This tool is called a “cheese trier” and it is not good for trying cheeses like this, but this is a cool photo if you ignore the state of my nails.

I’ll Have What Cheese Having is my first book, so, of course, I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on myself for it to be amazing.

“This is my one chance to prove I can do something like this”

“This has to be the best thing I’ve created so far”

“If it doesn’t sell well immediately, I’ll never be able to get a publisher or write another book”

“If people don’t like it, I just spent four years and a ton of money on this for no reason”

All things that aren’t true, but they rattle around in my head anyway.

As silly as it may sound, judging cheese all day really helped me reframe the way I was talking to myself about the book.

It’s a book of cheese pairings based on rom-coms for goodness sake. If it’s not fun, what the hell is the point. On that note, another thing that frequently would pop into my brain is:

“The world is so complicated right now, promoting a book is frivolous and self-centered and unimportant”- a timeless favorite for all creatives that make things for a living.

And sometimes, especially when I’m dehydrated and sleep deprived, I still feel this.

Because the world is wild right now. But that’s exactly why we need pockets of joy, and frivolity, and even a little escapism. My hope is this book will give you all of those things.

It is my first, but it won’t be my last. I’ve chosen to have fun with it instead of continuing to put tons of pressure on it. It is a beautiful book, and I love it, and I’m releasing the expectation that is has to be anything other than what it is: my first book about cheese and romantic comedies. It’s Spring Cleaning season- any expectations you need to release? It’s freeing I promise.

I am a person who has always struggled with admitting that I don’t know how to do something. Welllllll let me tell you, this past month has put me in an express lane to get over that quick. Learning all the publishing lingo, InDesign techniques, and formatting faux pas felt like I was building the parachute on the way down. More on this will be in next weeks newsletter for paid subscribers :)

Having a first book means it’s the best book I’ve ever made, and it’s the worst I’ll ever make. This year has been nuts but I. Have. Learned. So. Much. I’m no longer judging how I’ve stumbled through parts of this process against a (probably false) perception of how a seasoned author would be doing it.

If I do say so myself, it’s already pretty darn good. I really can’t wait to share it with you.

Until next time,

Anne-Marie

P.S. In NYC? Join us on May 17th for the book launch party at Murray’s Cheese! And do it soon, they’re going fast.

Pre-order your copy of I'll Have What Cheese Having